I don’t practice a religion, unless you consider Christmas a religion. I was baptized Anglican but as soon as I could make my own decisions, I determined Christianity was not for me. I’ve never liked being told what and how to think about things. And God is a big one.
Flash forward 10+ years later and I find myself madly in love with a Jewish man. We love each other passionately but we are told that it can’t work, it won’t work and that our life together will be too hard.
Confusing
We hear it from the very religious and the somewhat so. Our love will not survive the chasm that is religion. We are too different. And our children will suffer because of it. It makes you question your Self, but only for a moment.
In these conversations, we weren’t treated as individuals, as people who have a choice as to whether religion had a place in our lives. It’s always assumed that he identifies with the label “Jew” and I with “Christian” and that one of us must and is giving up our beliefs in support of the others. 20 to 0, I am asked if I am converting to Judaism.
You Don’t Understand
Neither of us feel the need to explain our life choices but when we find ourselves in discussions related to religion, we must preface them with statement that we are not religious. For it is the tendency of humans is to project their ego in another person’s situation and make a judgment, without recognizing that their perspective and views differ and thus they can try but can’t truly understand it.
I don’t try and understand why one chooses religion, just as another should not try and understand why I do not. Our points-of-view and life experiences are different.
When did ‘God’ and ‘religion’ become synonymous?
I am aware that the statement, “I don’t believe in religion” is a powerful one. But it is also a simple one. It doesn’t mean I don’t believe in God, or that I don’t believe we are each souls, it simply means that I don’t believe religion is necessary in order to be one with God.
I believe in spirituality. I believe in our power to create our own God. I believe that God resides in each of us and it’s our choice if we honour him in a way that is true to us.
This is what I believe as the “Christian”. And what Daniel believes as the “Jew”.
The Point
It’s about goodness in action. Be in the moment and act compassionately.
We waste so much time and money trying to fix the messes we have created. Yet everything we implement to clean up our bad decisions won’t be enough if we keep on creating new disasters.
Shouldn’t we have thought of that before?
When creating, get into the business of anticipating problems and preventing them from happening. It’s smarter, cheaper, and a hell of a lot more effective than the constant overhauls we have grown accustomed to.
Hope is a great quality and it is no doubt that your optimism towards what is possible has led you to where you are today. But pessimism about the future has a necessary place in your life and business too.
Optimism rules when anticipating (predicting) and enjoying outcomes — but there’s also great value in being pessimistic when preparing (considering) outcomes. After all, things don’t always go ‘our way’.
Call it ‘worst-case scenario’ planning.
Take time to identify your greatest fears about an undertaking. Develop a scenario for how you would deal with the fear if it became reality.
For example, when starting Elastic Mind I was afraid that I wouldn’t make a sustainable living as a writer and web consultant. So, I developed a ‘worst-case scenario’ plan that allowed me to keep doing what I love and make more money, if needed. I determined I would go back to school for counseling and I would have two part-time careers. I would still be following my passions but I wanted to ensure I have a practical plan should my business not garner me enough income.
It’ll boost your confidence overall.
You’ll have shown your inner critic that no matter what happens, you’ll be okay. These fears lie within you anyway, and that’s okay. Why not show them how wrong they are?
There’s nothing wrong with preparing for the worst – it’s anticipating it that’s a detriment.
Tim Ferriss, Author of the 4 Hour Work Week on ‘Pessimism as a Productivity Booster’.
I used to think I could be anything I wanted to be. But in reality I knew that made no sense. Now I know why. You can’t be anything you want to be.
No matter how hard I try, some things I just don’t excel in. Some things come harder to me. Well, ‘who cares’?
Society has long emphasized that we focus on and improve on our weaknesses. Just think of all the heart-wrenching American underdog films that exist. There’s Rudy (the movie tagline? “When people say dreams don’t come true, tell them about Rudy”), Dodgeball (“a true underdog story”), and the yearly (monthly?) movie about a struggling baseball/football/basketball team.
Granted, it’s heartwarming when someone overcomes a lack of talent. But besides that, what’s the point? Why spend countless hours focusing on what you aren’t good at?
Why not just focus on your strengths?
You are valuable because of what you do well, what you excel in, what your talents are, not what is hard for you. Perfection is overrated and impossible.
The key to personal development is building on who you already are. There is extraordinary room for growth there.
As Dr. Martin Seligman author of Authentic Happiness notes, “you cannot be anything you want to be – but you can be a lot more of who you already are.”
How can you sell to someone you don’t even know? How do you know you can help or add value to their lives when you don’t even know their problem?
Get to know your prospective client before you tell them what they need. Build a connection, understand their challenges, show that you respect them as an individual. No one appreciates being treated like a walking $ sign.
