by Tara Joyce | Jul 19, 2015 | Cultural Creativity, Self/Business Growth
In our Modern culture, we are encouraged to be unbalanced in our doing, in our esteem. We’re taught to believe we have the right, and the entitlement, to do and have whatever we want. Yet we lack the love to know what we truly need, and how to get it. And so we find ourselves exerting our power, our esteem towards our Self, onto others, in hopes that we will get what we want, without having to do the work to know what we need.
When did our wants become so important? Perhaps it was when we, as a collective, fulfilled our most basic survival needs. With our drive to survive less pressing, with our most basic needs met, we’ve gotten a bit lost in our purpose. With our physical needs met, we think we’ve been granted free reign to focus on our wants. The truth is though, we have far more needs to fulfill beyond the physical ones. Our work is not over, in fact, it has only begun.
Each of us has been honoured with this lifetime, this unique culture, where we have the abundance to explore beyond our most basic needs and to fulfill ourselves on a deeper level. The wealth of our times affords us this ability. Collectively, we’ve reached this place of abundance and opportunity together. It seems a waste to simply focus on our wants, when we’re being offered the opportunity to explore the richness of our deeper needs. This abundance is a gift, giving us the ability to reach further and farther. Its purpose is to expand us, and to support us in expanding ourselves. We need to use it consciously. For there is not much value in getting what we want when we don’t know what we need.
photo credit: Thomas Brault
by Tara Joyce | Jul 5, 2015 | Cultural Creativity
Life happens… Things you can’t control… People you can’t avoid… Stuff happens just beyond your reach, and it affects you.
I used to think it was my responsibility to control the things that happened in Life. I strived to minimize the bad and to maximize the good. I watched and I stood prepared. I let in only what passed my vigorous tests.
As Life continued, and continued to happen, I began to see the illusion of control I felt I had. Despite my best efforts, I could not manage and shape Life into being exactly as I wanted it to be. I could not make it more convenient for me.
This left me considering, perhaps I’d been misunderstanding my job. Perhaps, it wasn’t my job to control Life. Perhaps instead, it was my job to manage how I handled it. Perhaps, it’s not what’s happening that matters, but rather how I’m handling it.
I can’t stop Life from happening but I can work to know, and trust, I’m handling Life as best I can. In working on this confidence, I receive clarity around what I am truly responsible to in Life — to myself and to you. I must handle you and I, and what happens between us, with care. I must handle Life and all it brings (the good, the bad, and the in-between) with respect, and with honesty.
Handling things as best I can, however, does not necessarily mean you will recognize this. You may not see the truth of my actions and you may not mirror this back to me. You may feel I’m not doing a good enough job handling things. When this is the case, it’s time again for me to practice my confidence, checking in with my Self and determining if I’m handling things as best I can, and if so, continuing to. The truth of my actions will reveal itself.
No matter what comes my way, Life only provides me with what I can handle. In doing my best with these circumstances, I free myself from the chaos of Life’s happenings.
photo credit: Ias
by Tara Joyce | Jun 24, 2015 | Innerpreneurship, Personal Branding
There’s always a goal. In every communication, in every expression, there is always a goal. It may not be conscious and it may not be visible, but it is there. Whenever we communicate, we do it for a reason.
In both our business communication scenarios and our personal ones, our goals design and determine what we achieve, and what we receive. Through our language and logic, our (conscious and unconscious) goals reveal themselves; and through our resulting action, these goals are realized.
When we take the space to consider our goals before we take action and communicate, we support our selves in consciously creating effective communications. For when we consider what we want to achieve and why we are communicating, we’re taking responsibility for ensuring our expressions are authentic. And that we’re consciously creating the reality we desire.
4 Conscious Communication Goals
For your next communication, consider:
- Your Information: Are you sharing essential information?
- Your Motivation: Are you inspiring action?
- Your Professionalism: Are you elevating your credibility?
- Your Brand: Are you supporting your values and value?
If you’re answer is ‘No’ to any of the above, it’s probably a good idea not to communicate until you’ve done more internal work and can answer each with a ‘Yes’. In taking this space, each time you and/or your business chooses to communicate, you’ll feel confident you’re creating a growth opportunity.
photo credit: Sergio Pani
by Tara Joyce | Jun 16, 2015 | Self/Business Growth
Despite my best efforts to prove the contrary, what I do (or do not) deserve is not in my jurisdiction. I don’t get to decide whether I am worth it. When Life provides me with something wonderful, it’s not my job (or right) to decide if I deserve it. That decision has already been made.
What I (or anyone) deserves is not in my authority. I am not the judge.
When I reject the good things in my life, when I decide something is too good to be mine, I am choosing my unconscious feelings of unworthiness. I’m deciding I’m not worth it, and I don’t deserve it. And if I’m not careful, I’m going to sabotage myself out of the gift I’m being offered.
It’s not in my jurisdiction to judge my worthiness. Whether I accept the gift or not, it’s already been offered to me. Not feeling I deserve it is besides the point.
Choosing gratitude.
To bypass these nagging questions of worthiness, and to grow the good things I receive from Life, I’m improving my focus on gratitude. When I look to my gratitude, I see how it supports me in avoiding the rejection and sabotage my unworthiness creates. In choosing to be grateful for, rather than questioning, what I deserve, I gracefully accept my gift and bypass my unworthiness.
Standing in my gratitude, I understand the truth — this gift is mine to have. Life has deemed it so. Whether I am deserving or not, my real work is to accept this gift with as much grace as I can.
photo credit: Joe Gratz
by Tara Joyce | Jun 9, 2015 | Cultural Creativity, Innerpreneurship
Many of us dream of reaching perfection, not realizing the cost of it. Many of us dream of the day we can banish our imperfections from our lives.
Perhaps, you too feel you’d be happier without your imperfections. I’m certainly not here to disagree. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to improve your Self.
But there is a difference between transforming your imperfections, and removing them.
Transforming them allows you the ability to choose to see your imperfections in a different light. In recognizing them clearly, you can begin to feel different about them, and to empower your Self to use them differently.
Removing or denying your imperfections, however, un-grounds you from the truth of your Self, and the reality you’re trying to ignore. By removing and denying your imperfections, you’re removing and denying your ability to feel different about them, and to change them.
In one, your reaching for imperfect perfection; in the other, you’re reaching for impossible perfection. One nurtures, while the other destroys, your sense of Self.
You can feel different. You can grow in your perfection. You have the power to change what you do not like about your Self. But to do so, the changes — and changing — must first come from within you.
You must face and embrace your imperfections. You must be willing to see them. In doing so, you can learn how to be with them and how to use them differently. In embracing your imperfections, you begin the process of transforming them into something of beauty. Something imperfectly perfect. As defined by You.
Reaching for your perfection is not easy. Transforming your imperfections is hard. But it’s the cost of realizing your dreams, and it’s always a goal worth working on.
photo credit: Michael Coghlan
